urulokid:

urulokid:

poutineisdelicious:

xekstrin:

majere636:

arachnofiend:

marapetsrules:

bobfoxsky:

“You fool. No man can kill me.”

How many times am I allowed to reblog this before it gets weird?

image

Fun facts: Tolkien constructed this scene because he came out of Macbeth thinking that Shakespeare had missed a golden opportunity with the ”Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn the power of man, for none of woman born shall harm Macbeth” prophecy

Being letdown by Macbeth is apparently a significant factor in Tolkien’s writing because the Ent/Huorn attack on Isengard was the result of his disappointment that the whole “til Birnam Wood come to Dunsinane” thing was just some dudes holding sticks and not actual ambulatory trees.

so he basically took his favorite shakespeare headcanons and put them into his AU fic

This revelation just knocked me over.

LET ME TELL YOU A THING ABOUT JOHN RONALD REUEL TOLKIEN. BACK THE FUCK UP SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING YOU’RE FUCKING JON SNOW HERE. LET ME TELL U A THING

JONNY T WAS LITERALLY THE BIGGEST FANBOY TO EVER WALK THE EARTH. LITERALLY THIS FUCKIN NERD WENT INTO WORLD WAR ONE AND WROTE NORSEFIC EDDA FANFIC IN THE TRENCHES AND SENT IT TO ALL HIS FRIENDS WHO WERE PRESUMABLY LIKE “JOHN WHAT THE FUCK”

BUT IT DOESN’T END THERE

HIS WIFE? MADE HER AND HIMSELF INTO SELF-INSERT OCS IN SAID FIC. ALSO MADE HIMSELF A TOTAL TYR SELF INSERT CHARACTER. ALL VERY DRAMATIC. KEPT WRITING THIS FIC UNTIL IT WAS HUGE. AFTER HE DIED HIS SON PUBLISHED IT AND CALLED IT THE SILMARILLION. JRR YOU FUCKIN NERD

WAIT I’M NOT FUCKING DONE YET. TREEBEARD? BASED THE WAY HE TALKED OF HIS OLD FRIEND JACK WHO YOU ALL MIGHT KNOW AS CS LEWIS. THAT’S RIGHT. THAT NARNIA MOTHERFUCKER. WROTE HIM INTO LORD OF THE RINGS AKA THE SEQUEL TO THE SEQUEL OF HIS ORIGINAL FANFIC MASTERPIECE. CS LEWIS FUCKING HATED LORD OF THE RINGS. TOLKIEN FUCKING HATED NARNIA. BASICALLY THEY STARTED THE OXFORD PROFESSOR LIVEJOURNAL CLUB AND THEY FLAMED EACH OTHER’S SHIT RELENTLESSLY YET REMAINED BFFS

SHELOB? FUCKING TARANTULA BIT J-TIDDY ON THE FOOT WHEN HE WAS LIKE 3. WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS.

HIS AUNT’S HOUSE? NAMED BAG END. YEAH YOU GUESSED IT WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS

THIS FUCKING DORKUS SUPREME MADE UP HIS OWN LANGUAGE. WAIT NO IM WRONG. HE MADE UP LIKE 80 LANGUAGES AND DIALECTS AND ALPHABETS AND SHIT 

BEST PART OF ALL?? HIS OWN LAST NAME, TOLKIEN, WAS DERIVED FROM THE GERMAN “TOLKHUN” MEANING “FOOLHARDY”. DOES THAT RING A BELL TO ANYONE FAMILIAR TO LORD OF THE RINGS??? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT PEREGRIN “PIPPIN” TOOK’S LIKE FUCKING CATCHPHRASE WAS “FOOL OF A TOOK”. TOLKIEN FIC’D HIS OWN FAMILIAL LINGUISTIC HISTORY INTO HIS WORK WHAT A DWEEB

IN 2008 HE RANKED 6TH ON A LIST OF THE TOP 50 BRITISH WRITERS SINCE 1945. HE WAS A PROFESSOR OF LANGUAGES AND OTHER IMPORTANT STUFFY SHIT AT OXFORD

AND JRR TOLKIEN WAS THE BIGGEST DWEEB EVER TO LIVE

THE END

(via time-travel-and-madness)

sootonthecarpet:

what if instead of a same gender detective partnership who keep getting mistaken for a romantic couple, you had a same gender romantic couple who keep getting mistaken for detectives
‘hello, I’m sam darling, and this is my partner gregory hitch’ ‘AH YES THE PRIVATE DETECTIVES’ ‘what??? no we just came for some ice cream why is there police tape everywhere’

(via time-travel-and-madness)

thelordofhats:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

Freeing the slave was nice, but wouldn’t be that huge of a thing.
Smashing the cups, though? I’m just imagining that Augustus was just walking along one day and saw the slave-owner trying to kill his slave, so he just goes over, tells the slave ‘yo, you’re free’, and then, never breaking his gaze from the slaveowner, casually sweeps all the other cups off the shelf too.
It’s just such a wonderful little ‘fuck you’.

thelordofhats:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

Freeing the slave was nice, but wouldn’t be that huge of a thing.

Smashing the cups, though? I’m just imagining that Augustus was just walking along one day and saw the slave-owner trying to kill his slave, so he just goes over, tells the slave ‘yo, you’re free’, and then, never breaking his gaze from the slaveowner, casually sweeps all the other cups off the shelf too.

It’s just such a wonderful little ‘fuck you’.

(via ultrafacts)

blogsfromtheapocalypse:

Guys, please, if there’s any chance at all you might turn, please wear clothes at all times. Naked zombies are awkward for everyone.

bigbardafree:

tedkordisanasshole:

You may think that that ace post about asexuals feeling broken is exagerated but let me tell you Ive went through over hundred pages in my psychology textbook and every 3/4 pages is repeated how EVERYONE has to have sex to be NORMAL and those who DON’T are STUNTED and BROKEN and need to be REPAIRED and let me tell you it’s fucking me up a lot

my own psychiatrist basically told me there was something wrong with me and took me off my antidepressants in the hopes it would stimulate some kind of interest in sex or sexual attraction

asexuaity is basically considered a mental illness and its really dangerous for asexual people

(via whatamievensaying)

elestiel:

GIVE ME A TITLE IN MY ASKBOX

  • QUEEN/KING OF _____???
  • PRINCESS/PRINCE OF _____???
  • EMPRESS/EMPEROR OF _____???

bonus points:

  • HEIR TO _____???
  • GOD/GODDESS OF _____???
  • OVERLORD OF _____???
  • GUARDIAN/PROTECTOR OF ____???
  • THE PATRON SAINT OF ____???
  • MASTER/MISTRESS OF ____???

(via kinzaibatsu91)

sansalayned:

 What should you be called? | I could call myself after my mother.

Sansa & Catelyn parallels (requested by anonymous.)

(via bravedannyflint)

But the Night Vale people asked us not to sell merch, guys

jathis:

Please don’t sell merch with Night Vale things on it

They asked us not to

(via fuckyeahwelcometonightvale)

importantdoctors:

clarafiers:

100percentrebeltimelord:

So I was giffing and now I can’t stop laughing.

ENDLESS CLARAS!


I am MOST COMPANIONS doctor! Make an INFINITY CLARAS, fill up a dalek with teachers, yes! Best teacher I kidnap since 1963!

importantdoctors:

clarafiers:

100percentrebeltimelord:

So I was giffing and now I can’t stop laughing.

ENDLESS CLARAS!

I am MOST COMPANIONS doctor! Make an INFINITY CLARAS, fill up a dalek with teachers, yes! Best teacher I kidnap since 1963!

I’ve been playing Bastion lately and I just got to the bog and

what the fuck happened

Actually I don’t even want to know. That was freaky.

I’m glad I managed to finish the reflections on Who Knows Who though. It took me three tries, a health tonic upgrade, and the realization that I could use my shield, but I did it.

(I kind of forgot how to use the shield for ages until the game was like “yo you know you can do this right” and I was like “OH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT SUCK IT PINCUSHIONS”)