penny lives

marywhal:

taako spent his time on the empty world studying bardic college tomes on how to do voices good, so after the day of story and song he’s very, very good at impressions. taako uses this skill exclusively to fuck with people via stone of farspeech. lucas finds himself in possession of a lot of pizzas he swears he didn’t order.

it’s the perfect crime until one night, as taako is ordering a rollie egg cooker from the fantasy shopping channel for barold, kravitz reaches over, plucks the stone from his hand, and breaks out a pitch perfect barry impression to cancel it.

taako is shook. taako assumed kravitz was as bad at voices as he is at accents and that merle was easily tricked. taako assumed no one could stop him from delivering a weird egg cylinder machine to his brother-in-law’s house. how did that voice come out of kravitz’s mouth?

kravitz is good at impressions, turns out, but only when he’s able to listen and absorb the voice. kravitz has met pan. he pops over to see the raven queen sometimes. they play poker with istus. kravitz smiles at his shocked boyfriend. “i was a bard, love. remember?”

kravitz could have stepped in at any time, but he has no objections to harassing lucas. it’s just that barry’s taste in food is already very bad and they don’t need to risk him getting fond of cylindrical eggs on top of everything else.