gotta-get-that-pma:

badjokesbyjeff:

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.”
Man: ‟Yes it is.”
Boy: ‟I have a baseball.”
Man: ‟That’s nice.”
Boy: ‟Want to buy it?”
Man: ‟No, thanks.”
Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.”
Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?”
Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.”
Man: ‟Yes, it is..”
Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.”
Man: ‟That’s nice.”
Boy: ‟Want to buy it?”
Man: ‟No, thanks.”
Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.”
Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?”
Boy: ‟$750.”
Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!”
The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.”
The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?”
The son says, ‟$1,000.”
The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.”
The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”

JEFF WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

(via anonymousalchemist)

kcggggg:

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NAY. We shall wait with a warrior’s patience for the goodly clerk to fulfill their lunch break.

(via bunjywunjy)

inkfamy:

inkfamy:

Text reads: Will Quintessons or Nebulans appear in this universe?  “Wait and see” – Robert KirkmanALT

I’m telling you there’s going to be Quintessons

A tag which reads "manifesting an autobot-decepticon truce vs the quints storyline"ALT

🕯 like to charge rb to cast 🕯

inkfamy:

Text reads: Will Quintessons or Nebulans appear in this universe?  “Wait and see” – Robert KirkmanALT

I’m telling you there’s going to be Quintessons

kirsten-is-writing:

jadefyre:

mareebrittenford:

paperclippedmime:

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Found on twitter, going to adopt this now

Writer friends, tell me how many WIPs and how many UFOs you have. I have 2 WIPs and [redacted] UFOs (jk it’s around 16 across my three main fandoms)

going one step further… another yarn craft term that writers should put into use is frogging. If you don’t like the project, but the yarn is good, you can frog it (take it apart) and reuse it for another project.

I think a lot of writers don’t give themselves credit for how many of their ufos have actually been frogged, ie that particular project has been abandoned, but the concept, characters, or setting has been taken and reused on a new project.

Almost all of my abandoned fanfics have been frogged. You’ll find the pieces of them in my original work

my favourite thing about frogging and why it’s called that is because you… rip it rip it (ribbit ribbit)

But! yes! I wholeheartedly concur. I keep “line graveyards” for works that I keep frogging and they wind up being so useful later.

as someone who’s in the writing community AND crocheting/knitting community, i approve of this message

(via lakesandquarries)

scarfanon:
“scarfanon:
“bigzubeblanket:
“ jaybug-jimmies:
“ dookiediamonds:
“ enecoo:
“ idrawsmutinmysparetime:
“ enecoo:
“ zomagham:
“ enecoo:
“ sableyezer:
“ enecoo:
“ its-peeps:
“ enecoo:
“ glitchytripod:
“ erikandcharlesarebi:
“ enecoo:
“...

scarfanon:

scarfanon:

bigzubeblanket:

jaybug-jimmies:

dookiediamonds:

enecoo:

idrawsmutinmysparetime:

enecoo:

zomagham:

enecoo:

sableyezer:

enecoo:

its-peeps:

enecoo:

glitchytripod:

erikandcharlesarebi:

enecoo:

enecoo:

I have no idea what the story of this anime is, and it’s pretty obvious who the protag is, but I’m gonna add character to the girls to the left with no face

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introducing these two background characters in this slice of life romantic comedy/drama - they love each other a lot, and the girl to the left is grumpy because her girlfriend to the right forgot to give her her good morning kiss.

taller girl on the right is oblivious because she was so excited when they got up because she’s treating her girlfriend to a surprise date at the amusement park that she forgot to give her a good morning kiss. they’ll have their first smooch of the day at the very top of the ferris wheel 💋

the guy to the right of the protag (with the glasses) is a simple office worker who loves his family very very much and cannot wait to get back home to his children

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The guy on the far left is wanting to get home to make dinner. He lives alone, but he promised his kitten they would have some grilled fish as a treat! He loves her very much.

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The tall one behind the two girls just got back from a job interview. He didn’t get the job but he’s confidant he’ll get the next one. He needs to provide for his son and two daughters after all.

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Person to the left of the pink hair girl is a retired hit-man struggling to adjust to a normal life but hes recently found a woman that works at a cafe down the street from his new job and things seem to be going well.

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the man on the far far right is anxious as it’s his and his boyfriend first date aniversary and that’s the longest he lasted in a relationship, he is confident that this one will last tho

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This is so pure.

Everyone is the protagonist of their own story.

Everyone is the protagonist of their own story.

Can we have an anime series like this?  where every episode starts on the same group of people in the train car and we follow a different protagonist from that group each episode?

like, here’s the premise: each episode opens on an image like the one OP posted, with one person drawn as a typical anime protagonist while everyone else around them is in that faceless minimalist background style.  However, when the train stops, the camera follows one of the background characters out of the train.

Over the course of the episode, we are shown a day in that character’s life, the people with whom they interact, the ups and downs they go through, etc, and as we learn more about them, their features gradually become more defined, until the episode ends with them fully drawn and all necessary details present.

Each episode focuses on a different background character, and the protagonist is never given the spotlight until the final episode, when it is revealed that they are just a cardboard cutout that one of the train’s occupants has been tasked with delivering

and there are subtle hints throughout the series that foreshadow this reveal; a figurine on a shelf in the foreground, a video on a screen in the background, a magazine cover, etc., but we don’t notice because our focus is on that episode’s character.

so it symbolically demonstrates how everyone is intimately familiar with this fictional character, hence their being drawn fully detailed from the beginning, but you have to take the time to get to know the actual people that you encounter on a daily basis, and that everyone truly is the protagonist of their own story.

(via lakesandquarries)

charlesoberonn:

exponentiallygayrobot:

charlesoberonn:

charlesoberonn:

Middle-aged magical girl.

She’s been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she’s very tired.

My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I’ve been Earth’s one and only… Wonder-Sparkle Princess.

she’s been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren’t giving it their all.
Half of them are in a groupchat they’ve added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don’t interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her*

Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he’s dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can’t save you if you interrupt her rare vacations

Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people’s hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can’t, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor’s heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That’d be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How’s the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.

Wonder-Sparkle Eluria: Don’t mess with my time off :p

(via lakesandquarries)

qadash:

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anon / anon / @mountainqoats / bygones, Keaton Henson / Invitation, Mary Oliver / better in the morning, birdtalker /

(via lakesandquarries)

iraprince:

iraprince:

iraprince:

HI IT’S ME AGAIN

YOU’RE FUCKING UP YOUR TEETH AND YOUR MUSCLES AND SHIT

WHEN I CATCH YOU WITH ONE OF THESE I STEAL A FEW MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE FORCE. WHEN YOU ARE NOT CLENCHING WHEN YOU SEE ONE OF THESE, YOU GET TO STEAL A FEW MINUTES BACK. WE’LL SEE WHO’S LEFT STANDING IN THE END

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(via lakesandquarries)

greatest-maccao:

a man with a helmet or mask that he never takes off is infinitely more sexy than an attractive man who sometimes wears a helmet. it’s about the mystery. the mystique. is there nothing under there or a monster under there or a scary looking guy (all three uniquely charming). you’ll never know. it’s also doubly attractive if he takes his shirt off but keeps the helmet on. you agree

(via everlastingrandom)